LMN
I say your getting healthy :-)! I remember those feelings of " I just don't care anymore ".. I think that's when I had finally detached enough from his addiction to really see the truth.. And the truth was ugly.. I struggled for a long time with divorce.. I filed once and he wooed me back with a 7 day stay in detox and a promise in recovery.. I think thats when my aha moment occurred.. It wasn't going to get better, I was only getting worse and what about Me??? Yes, for the first time I started thinking about ME, that's not selfishness that's called self love..
Keep turning it over to your HP, that's what i did and one day finally at my rock bottom, I turned it over and never took it back and that's when the miracles started occurring in my life.. Everything just fell into place after that