Oh LMN hmmm seeing as we have the same HP i feel comfortable sharing my hope with you ... I refrain with others out of fear of being viewed as a bible thumper, and respect for thier individual HP, but when I fist came here what seems like a lifetime ago you reached out to me when I was confused about the whole "forgive 70x7" issue.
You see... for me, I believe that all things will work for good for you, because you love god. But what does it mean to love god? Keep his commands and walk in his ways. All those months ago you led me to this simple truth. Well, god led me through you
Matthew 18
15 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that `every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
So, no. I don't believe at all that you are cold hearted. I believe that you have already done what this passage says. You have been in every way, shape and form patient, kind, trustworthy, honorable, forgiving, not self seeking, you have endured all things, even detox which at least in my experience a very deep valley.
Im sorry for your situation, but you have been a blessing to me. I believe that your feelings are valid. No matter what the future holds, and no matter what you decide, Im rooting for YOU and god has got your back.
I hope not to sound preachy cuz Im not in any way perfect, but you have given me so much hope and Im afraid this is the best ESH I can offer, cuz my E is still so limited, my S comes only from god, and he is my only H as well
Hugs and prayers for you and your husband
Lily