Hi Everybody and Gal
I am going through alot of the same feelings. .again. .beating myself because my family is so torn apart with addiction and bad behavior. I am "shoulding" myself all over the place and dragging my self down the tubes with it.
"I should have. .been a better mother." ".I should have been kinder." ".should have paid closer attention". I know when I start thinking and feeling like that I am believing I have control over others.. but. .it does creep in. .
And talk about manipulation. .My daughter called from jail last night crying and complaining the she is "all broken out on her face. .can't hardly talk cause it hurts so much." Plus she has an ear infection or psoriasis (it can really cause problems with your ears. .and she does have that. .it flares up under stress.) I couldn't bear to hear all this so I handed off the phone to my husband to listen for awhile.
I really don't know what to say to her cause I do feel bad for her but she is there because she broke the law and as I have said before I am glad she is there rather than out on the streets using.
Then I get back on the phone and she says "Sorry this is so hard for you. Mom ." Stab. .stab . .It is hard. .to listen to her complaints. .but she was seen by the nurse at the jail and she was given ear drops. etc.
My thinking is that she just really tries to manipulate me into getting her a lawyer and getting her released. Plus we do send her a little money for commissary and of course she didn't get that this week????? .I even thought of going down to the jail (an hour away) this morning and putting money into her account so she could have commissary . .but. .got out the Codependent No More book and started reading and taking back some of my power.
So. .that is my story.
Blessings to all Mo