Justshy,
I would like to ask you how it feels to NOT have a controlling abusive alcoholic in your house? Have you felt peaceful? Relaxed because the eggshells you have been stepping around are no longer there?
Maybe, and this is just my experience, you are so used to the chaos and criticism it is difficult to let go of it and
choose to enjoy the peace.
Your husband sounds very disturbed and angry.
You always have a choice. I do understand how sometimes it does not feel that way, but I had to practice detachment and still have to practice today.
Beth