Thanks a lot everyone, your comments mean a lot. If I completely disregard the "label" I can admit that I have a problem with alcohol and drugs and my life is unmanageable. Just because I'm not using right now doesn't mean there isn't a problem. Just because I'm not binging and restricting my food right now also doesn't mean there is no problem. The minute I let the insanity back in (by taking back my will) life gets really unmanageable again.
It's what it's doing to my head. It's making me crazy. I gonna keep going to meetings.