If you have been struggling for 15 years and now are ready, look for a sponsor that you see walk the walk. If someone is living the program and you like what he says, go for it. Why are you drinking so much? You need to go to meetings and find out. Don't stay on the outer circle too long, this is a deadly disease and you are tempting fate. We honestly care about our members and want to help and support them. Don't be afraid, we are just drunks trying to get sober' stay sober and the only way we can is to help the still sick and suffering alcoholic. You are our life blood. Reach out and ask God for help, he will if you ask him. Keep coming back!