Originally Posted by silentrun

I have been an alcoholic for over 10 years. 2 years ago I admitted it to myself and took steps to contain it so noone would try to make me stop. I had no clue how progressive this is and how dark it would get. Recently I had a moment of lucidity and realized I am now at the piont that either I go "all in" or "all out". I feel as if I am in some horror movie and suddenly the movie is paused at the point that the killer has the axe in the air over my head. One drink and the movie resumes and it will be too late. I am over 5 weeks in and experiencing changes. I am terrified to fail. I don't know if I am being granted a second chance or just a chance to get my affairs in order before this things takes me down for good.
I love the quotes posted on this site so here is one of my favorities:

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There comes I time when you stop have to stop asking yourself "Why does the train keep hitting me?" and start asking yourself "What in the heck am I still doing in the tracks?"

(?) Natalie Green, Facts of Life