My menopause is really rough with bad hot flashes at least 2 an hour and really really crabby. My mood swings were horrible! I would prefer to take herbs but they aren't strong enough for my symptoms. I'm on the lowest dosage estrogen and I take prometrium for the first 12 days of the month. The Dr said I'll stop taking them as soon as I stop having periods. I'm down to a period every 2-3 months now and I really wish they would just stop.
Perhaps your ASIL heard something from the Dr that she didn't want to hear so she said they couldn't do anything. There is always something that will help. If the Dr really said that, she should see someone else.