I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic since 1972. I love him very dearly. We have talked so many times and it just goes in a no where circle. He has been open with me a FEW times. Enough that I know his drinking scares him. He has been sucecssful in stopping a few times and these are and always will be the most wonderful memories I will ever have. Each time he started drinking things were MUCH worse. After he disappeared for 3 days and woke up in another woman's bed not remembering what happened, I had to take care of myself. I moved out. It was the single most hardest thing I have had to do. I was full of FEAR. There is some what of a relief. But the pain is still there. Yet I do not have to deal with the ranting and the late nights that he would bring drunk buds home. I don't have days of sleepless nights because he is drunk and switching from rage to happy in just minutes. No more broken windows and mirrors and tipped over Christmas trees. No more smell. YET I miss my sober love. I feel as if I should put a cross up somewhere that says here lies sober Bob because I feel as though he has died. the drunk is not the man I know and love. There is no easy choice. But I believe the only decision is to take care of You because they will drag you down with them. I was down to nothing because I could not eat. My health was fragile without sleep. My insides cried out in pain every day. Now I mourn but it is a healing process.