Yow - a few years back, hit the corner of a nightstand, trying to get in and missing the bed - the blackest, purplest shiner I have ever seen on anyone - on me. It took forever to go away - 3 months of beautiful 'color changes' from deep purple, to reddish, greenish and yellows with greens in between! My husband refused to go anywhere with me as he did not want people thinking he beat me. (One trip to the grocery store and a bunch of dirty looks and that was it for months). I did get extra hot sauce at the drive through and plenty of people who felt sorry for me and treated me like a 'victim'. Victim of drunkness and a very sharp corner. People also believed my story that it was an 'accident' and of course I continued drinking.
Also many, many unexplained bruises every where