honeypig, your welcome.
You WILL GO MAD trying to keep tabs on a person that is better at sneaky than you are as an amateur detective, I know, been there, done that, got the crazy tshirt.
Since it is the bottle, and not another woman...do you know why he was hiding it since it had no great ill affects? What about asking him that question-why he hid it-as a means of opening up the relationship to more honesty?
Another thought...on those hours he was alone in his hobby room...did you enjoy the alone time you received?
My H would go off with his bottle and do his thing, and some of that time I was GLAD for the alone time, and would have been annoyed had he wanted to spend all that time with me. So this alone time was mutually beneficial, yes or no?
Here's a question for you--if there aren't bad consequences with his drinking, why didn't he drink openly?
He's the one that labeled himself as an alcoholic, and not just a person who drinks an acceptable amount. So why did he label himself? I might ask that too...seems there are communication barriers that need to be opened up. I'm not advocating drinking, but he had to label himself as alcoholic for some reason which includes bad consequences. So what are they?
The "we live like roommates" statement from him is something to address too...now there's something you can put your finger on!
Intimacy. The next question is, if status quo you both were content, do you want more intimacy? Either of you? Would more intimacy (physical and emotional) be uncomfortable?
Did you see the relationship as like "roommates"? Were you happy with that?
You don't have to answer all this here, it's your private life, but they are questions for yourself and then what you want to share.