Blueskies, thanks for your insights; again, these are thoughts I would not/could not come up with on my own, and I am grateful for you sharing w/me.
You have put your finger on one of the things I have been struggling with; exactly what AM I unhappy with? And what you had to say about honesty and respect is true, for me.
In regards to his skills at sneaking, here is an example that he told me about: When he would allegedly "go to his meeting", there would always be a few errands he would take care of in town at the same time--pick up dog food, get kerosene for the heater, etc. He would make sure to always do those errands either before or after the time of the meeting (that he did not attend) just in case I would happen to look at the time printed on the receipt and see that he had been at the pet store when he was supposedly at his meeting. It would NEVER in a MILLION YEARS occur to me to check something like that! I am not anywhere in his league when it comes to being sneaky, not a chance in hell....so yes, I am not in control, not one little bit, and it just burns my ass to have to admit that, but I just can't compete, even if it made any kind of sense for me to try to.
Thanks again. I have so much to work on and think about.