First of all, thanks to all who took the time to read this, whether or not they posted.
Hopefulmom, yes, definitely crazy making, ty for letting me know others have this same problem of not being able to tell.
Lexie and English, as usual, you have both been so very helpful. What you both had to say about taking some time to get myself healthier before making a major decision seems right. I will definitely find a sponsor, even if it's only someone temporary, in the next few days.
I talked to him a little last night after I had posted originally, and I agree, he is not serious about stopping at this point. Will do what I can to separate our space.
Doing my best to turn this over and let the HP carry it while I get a rest!