I have found that one of my biggest obsessions is the health of Mr Magic. I worried and fretted about his unwillingness to do the things I thought he should. I was afraid of what would happen to me if something happened to him. I made myself miserable and hard to live with.
Being in Al-Anon, I used the tools that I had been given to work through my issues. I had to realize that his health, as well as his recovery, were his responsibility. If you make someone responsible for something, you don't jump in and take over. You let them work through it. How else are they going to learn?
I also realized that my being upset wasn't helping the situation. I had to detach from his struggles. I had to stop feeling guilty for not being able to fix him.
I still give suggestions and my opinions, but I was told in Al-Anon that saying it once was expressing my feelings. Saying it over and over was trying to control the outcome. In my own experience, when people try to control me, I resent them. I avoid them. I ignore them. Even if they are right, I have the right to make my own decisions, and I have the right to make my own mistakes. Hugs, Magic