Originally Posted by
honeypig 
I am not willing to live w/an active alcoholic. I filled out divorce papers (no kids, just us) and told him I am not willing to go on like this. Now he is allegedly on the wagon again. I am making myself crazy trying to figure out if this is for real. Typing it, I guess I see that it's about a 99.9% chance that it's NOT real. Now I'm trying to decide, am I nuts? He is not abusive, he is not a fall-down drunk, we do not have financial problems--yet. Part of me says "so let him drink, who cares, it's not all that bad" but another part says "is that what you really want?"
In this paragraph there's contradictions -- you won't live with an active A vs. now you're trying to decide. In my opinion, this is what you have to figure out. You already know that you historically cannot take him at his word. What are his actions telling you? There's no time limit on your answer, but you do have to make the decision independently of whatever he is or isn't doing about his drinking. Or whether you're SURE he is or isn't drinking.
No one's going to think you're terrible if it's really "not all that bad" and you can continue to live this way. You know, of course, that the disease is progressive, so you know, you need to decide what to do when it gets worse. How much is "not all that bad"?
I wish you strength and courage untangling these questions.