Just like you asked your ex to stop the drug use...please, you need to do the same. However, your drug of choice is him. It is not doing you any good. It is harming and hurting you. You think he will bring you happiness, but it hurts you when he doesn't. The only power comes, when you walk away and stay away. Put yourself first, and stay first. All of us on SR have gone through the same thing in various scenarios. We all thought we would be different, we could fix it. We can't, we didn't and if we were lucky, we worked on fixing ourselves.