Originally Posted by
doggonecarl 
First off, seven months is great.
Like you mentioned about the group not talking about it, one's stuggling and cravings (except for the newcomers) isn't often talked about and it becomes the elephant in the room.
I don't know if I was unusual or not, but I was still craving alcohol at seven months. Not as much as the beginning, but still.
I also thought, at the time, that seven months was a long time sober to still be struggling and craving. Now, with over 2 and a half years, I realized that seven months is still early in recovery. Keep doing what you are doing and you'll get there.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I started to get that feeling after a while that maybe there's a lot going on that I don't know about -- like the cravings some of the people with more time in there are still struggling with. I started feeling that "elephant" in the room too. One guy with a little less time than me told me in private a few weeks ago that he wanted to drink one night but didn't act on it. I was sitting there thinking "man that has happened to me so many nights ... even now" but didn't want to say it for fear of being judged I guess.
Originally Posted by
Nirvana1 Sounds like you are stuck on step 3?
One thing to realize is that step 3 says "made a decision" to turn our will and our lives over to the "care" of God as we understand him.
This step doesn't mean that we turn in our life over, it just means we make a decision to let God into our lives. Next it says "care of God" which doesn't mean we are blindly turning our lives over to something we don't fully understand, just making the decision to let a higher power take care of you in just what you understand at this point, even if you don't understand why.
Step 3 becomes easier to take knowing that you don't have to have it all figured out yet.
Everything you are worried about will be taken care of by the completion of the steps. Being stuck on steps but doing everything else to try and get results will leave you anxious and disappointed like you are. You are doing great. Find a new sponsor if they are not taking you through the steps because they haven't completed the steps. Keep up the good work.
Thanks. It's good to know that I can start working on the resentments before really have some sort of handle on a "higher power".
Originally Posted by
bbthumper I would say that if you are taking too long to get through the steps with your current sponsor then it may be time to find a new one. Especially if you are dealing with thoughts of drinking. THere is plenty of time to analyze and spend long amounts of time on each step after we have gone through them initially. BUt to sit on a 3rd step for months is risky.
Do you believe you or any other human cant relieve your alcoholism?
Do you believe God can help you?
Are you willing to do steps 4-12 so he can help you?
The steps, as mentioned above will get you connected to a power that will solve all of the problems you are having.
Willingness is all it takes. As soon as you can say you are willing its time to start writing a 4th.
As for working with others this early in recovery, I think its great. As long as someone with experience with all of the 12 steps is guiding you. We want to avoid a blind leading the blind situation.
I understand. That has been my fear too with having sponsees now. My sponsor told me that even at 7 months I can still have sponsees as long as I am ahead of them in the steps. I believe my sponsor is still on the 4th step and has been on it for a REALLY long time (his sponsor has made him write hundreds of pages about resentments and so forth!). I'm just sitting there thinking wow this is going to take FOREVER to get real relief if I keep doing what I am doing here (if people insist that it typically happens when you get deeper into the steps).
I mean I don't know if I can keep on doing this (honestly). But I know that I'll feel a lot of guilt and shame if I relapse again this time. Then my mom will be in pain again about me. Sometimes I just get into a state of "well I'm still young and I don't want to grow up yet" but then I keep thinking about the horrible hangovers everyday and the anxiety and it's like **** I am so stuck here. Maybe you guys are right. Maybe I should get a new sponsor who will work through the steps a lot faster and without the intense paperwork at each step (I was thinking about what you were saying in your post bbthumper). I guess that would mean I would have to get a new home group too.