What you do is not who you are.
You are more, much more, than that.
Very good timing on this part for me!!!
A friend did something that hurt me very badly a few years back. They've done about everything possible to make it up to me but I still hold onto the pain that they caused me. They have pointed out to me (repeatedly) what they have done to make things right with me. I think that I am so used to the repeated disappointments, lies, etc from AH that I've rather held this against my friends. Your post is big reminder to me that we can make a mistake without that being who we are. Sadly, I haven't been listening to my friend when they've been trying to tell me that very same thing. For some reason, when I read that part of your post, I just heard it differently. Perhaps because I thought my friend was trying to manipulate me into believing what they said? Or maybe because I was disappointed in them? The point I'm getting at is that I really do need to work on forgiveness - and not making others pay for being human when my doubts and insecurities are from my AH and not them personally.