WOM, I don't know if this is going to come across right but I want you to know I'm being as sincere as I know how to be. I feel so bad for you and I know you're having a hard time. I know this is going to be hard to believe, but you may need some help. I think professional counseling if you have the resources but Al Anon is better than nothing. Your past, which you said you've worked through, might be affecting you more than you realize. The fears of abandonment and being unworthy, unwanted, are not coming from a 1 year long-distance relationship with 6 months of that in rehab. It has to be deeper than that. I'm sorry if I'm not saying it right but I know those feelings. They're awful.
As for recovery, and this is coming from a RA, addict men are not good people - in my experience, with years and years of drinking and using. (The women aren't either but I'm focusing on men so I'll stay on topic.) They're manipulative. They're liars. They're selfish and self-centered. EVERYTHING is about them. An addict's number one rule is: HOW CAN I GET WHAT I WANT? That's first and foremost and sometimes the only rule. It comes before love, compassion, trust, loyalty, family, friends, everything. And what they want over everything else is drugs and alcohol. If you remember that, everything else makes sense. Everything.
Your boyfriend just stopped using drugs. His actions aren't those of a recovering person because he doesn't have any recovery. At this point, he put the drugs and alcohol down but he's still really sick. Like really, really sick. You can tell that by the things he said and his attitude. He's not a nice person. He's not a loving person. He's just an addict who put the drugs down. What I said above applies to him.
Recovery takes time and dedication. He doesn't have that yet. He doesn't have the mental or emotional capabilities at this point to be a good boyfriend. His thinking hasn't changed. He still has the same mindset he had when he was on drugs and alcohol. That's why everyone keeps telling you to focus on you. Give him time to get better while you focus on making yourself better. With some work on you, you could be even better for his recovery. Focusing on how much he wasn't calling or texting you when he was in treatment, focusing on all the things he's not doing in his program and putting pressure on him to meet your expectations right now, may be codependent or needy and could actually hurt his recovery. A lot.
I use to have a habit of finding very broken men and trying to fix them. I called it giving them a chance but really I was trying to fix them. In the back of my mind, I thought if I helped this person, he would see what a wonderful person I was, be oh so grateful for all I did for him, and love me forever and never leave me. I would make him the man I knew he could be, with my guidance, and in return he would be the love of my life forever. That never worked. Not once. I'm not God and I can't fix a broken person. Only God and that person can fix that person. I had to step back and look at myself and ask myself why I didn't think I deserved better. It took awhile but I can see how my childhood set me up for failure in relationships. Maybe your childhood is doing you the same way.
Sorry this is so long but my heart just hurt for you. If you're offended by anything I said, I'm sorry. I'm not judging you whatsoever. I've been there, done that. I'm even married to a man who was in recovery for almost 2 years before he relapsed, 1 1/2 months after our wedding, so I know the struggle. The difference is he was a good man when I met him. I didn't try to make him into a good man. And I'm not trying to fix him today. He has a God for that. I'm just taking care of me, living my life, and wishing him the best. If HE gets HIS stuff together, without one iota of help from me, I'll be back. If not, I won't. I was alive and well before I him, I'll be alive and well after him. I think remembering that would save a lot of women from a lot of misery.