hi all! Things are getting pretty much better now. I was reading a book called "fear the feal and do it anyway".It really inspired me.I guess now I can see what I've done.i threw away 2 years of my life in self -pitty. I was acting in a very self-destructive manner. No matter what i was doin, no boddy eventually will get hurt but me.I've been sober now for 23 days .It was not easy but I did it.The most important thing is that now I know that I do wanna change.I'm even seeing a therapist whi is really helping me to deal better with the matter.My bf is also a great help 2 me but it's not a big deal any more 2 me .now I've changed the way I think.I know that life is gonna be tough and bad situations won't just vanish but I will deal with it in aconstructive way.I was simply walking in a dark tunnel waiting for the train to come.I was even becoming very suicidal due to drugs.Nothin mattered 2 me anymore.Now I know that I could have been actually got myself killed with all the drugs I was doin.Thank u all for bein there.I've finally corrected my path and i do wanna continue.I'm not gonna wait for circumstances to change cause they won't.However, I will change.I feel as if I'm alive again.now I know that evrybody was hurt with my behaviour.I'm still having very depressive though due to the come down of coke but I'll make it...........at least i hope so.