Gal,
Man, can I top Smokes reply? Noooooo.....
Geeze, Don't you hate it when you run away with your thoughts? I know because I do it too. I read some posts sometimes and think the same thing, "Well maybe I didn't give him enough chances, Maybe I didn't listen when he really needed me because of my anger and resentment." But, I finally had to learn as smoke said to jump out of the water. Now as everyone knows I still have had contact with him yes, intimately yes and emotionally. But...it was still at a comfortable distance. I have my space now....it is safe and good for my daughter and I. It took me years to get my head on right enough to do it...and I am here now and do not want to budge.
You said it right when you talked about your children....it would be ripping it all away if you happen to find yourself back at square one again. God only knows how many times I did that to my daughter and esp to myself.
You can do what is best for you....I know you can. It's been a long road up until now, you can choose to do nothing. Sometimes that is a comfortable spot.
You know I'm here for you...
Love ya!