legna

My recovery cannot be threatened by anyone or anything except me. I am responsible.

As for this situation...I don't know for certain, but I think that all situations are similar in that each and every one gives us an opportunity to learn and grow or to squander that opportunity and go the other way. I have learned so much already through this - about me, about love, about acceptance... I really don't know, but sometimes I think I do...that this is what is meant by the saying, "When the student is ready the teacher will appear."

She remains my greatest teacher and I owe her so much. It's frustrating because I read what I wrote and it sounds saccarine sweet, perhaps even saintly - and I am far from that...it's just that, I've always believed - even in the midst of the worst of my addictions, that my purpose on earth, the goal of my life - was to learn love. To that end, I owe everything to my father, my daughter and most of all, my wife.

I guess my point is, and the reason that I wrote those last two paragraphs is to say this: my recovery is not in jeopardy... my recovery is growing like never before. This extended moment is a grow or go moment...my choice on which was made a long time ago. Like a marathon runner hopes the next corner will have people on the sidelines yelling encouragement and handing out cups of water, I'm hoping you all don't leave the sidelines as I run this race - but I'm going to finish the race regardless.