Originally Posted by
Deestizo 
Congrats on 4 days! I'm in the same boat. I tried to stop drinking a few weeks ago but once the weekend hit, my few days clean vanished. Today is my first day. Tomorrow will be hard. But I have faith in myself. You seem like a smart guy, you can do this. Good luck to you!!
Thank you! As I sit here, sipping my morning coffee, I look forward to conquering this weekends challenges, whatever they may be. I have already reached out to most of my old drinking buddies and told them the situation at hand. Of course some of them told me, "You'll be fine to drink on the weekends, just don't drink during the week" HA! Easier said than done. One of my friends told me "Mind over beer", which is actually pretty good advice, but I have zero desire to test my luck.
If I choose to join in on any social gathering this weekend, I am looking forward to being the sober one. There are a few people in my little social circle that also don't drink, but their reasoning is quite a bit different than mine, these people have never drank in their lives. I still plan on trying to be the life of the party, just without the intoxicants. Besides, nobody likes the guy that drinks 20 beers and 10 shots of whiskey and wants to arm wrestle and spar with everyone, and that's usually me. So good luck to you as well this weekend. YOU can do it!
- Nick
Originally Posted by
deadlydame Hello NT12ME, and congratulations on your new recovery. First off, I agree with some members here: I would strongly suggest to start going to meetings whether AA or NA, to go there with an open mind, to remember that you dont have to take what you don't like and that you will hear something that will struck a chord, no matter how good or bad of a meeting it is... I resisted NA, AA,... for years because I based my overall impressions on these first meetings I attended and unfortunately, they happened to be the ones where I personally do not feel the most comfortable. I prefer small to large meetings, I prefer a more "laid back" approach where others go for the exact opposite. What I did not know at the time is that going to meetings is like looking for a therapist, it usually takes some time and visits to various therapists before finally finding the one that fits "us." Which does not mean that he/she is the best one, just that he/she is the best for us. Addicts: Yes we are connected somewhere but I also consider that to share this connection does not mean that one and unique approach to recovery will work for all of us. Some of us will find in NA and AA, a structure that by itself is sufficient... Others, including myself, will need to build a structure where we can work both with a therapist, a face to face type of work and a NA group support, sponsor,... system... Others will be able to recover on their own, and some will find online what they need... So long story short, I do think that a support system is key and the best thing you can do in order to protect your recovery. As far as the heart, boy can I understand where you are at? All i can say is that: you should try as much as you can not to blame and judge yourself... It is very easy to shame ourselves and shame is one strong trigger for all addicts... Shame is powerful... So, I am not telling you not to take your part of the responsibility... Yet, to beat yourself is first of, dishonest (It takes two to tango...) and a sure way to relapsing. I know... Been there myself... I think that the key here is to be able to "trust" that everything happens for a reason and that if you two are meant to be together, it will happen... As long as you keep your focus on your recovery... Four days aren't much, and yet, they are big steps... The recovery process is a life time process... Yet, the magic it brings starts with Day One... Hang in there... 28 years old... Your life to live!
Thank you for the feedback. Personally I believe I can tame this wild beast of an addiction on my own. I want this, I want to live life to it's fullest, and if alcohol plays any role in that, it will not happen. I like the concept of the AA meetings, and maybe will sit in on one or two just for the hell of it, but I don't think it's going to be something I find myself gaining anything from just because I've always been so hard headed and stubborn. I feel like there's nothing anyone can tell me that will help me get healthy, the only person that is going to make that happen is ME.
As far as the heart goes, the break is already starting to mend. After 4 days of sobriety my (ex)girlfriend can already see a difference in my outlook on life, I have been thinking positive, talking about goals that I am determined to accomplish over the next few months. For example, I told her I renewed my gym membership and she told me "I know you're going to meet someone else, I can feel it", see, she knows how much potential I have, and when I'm sober I could be on top of the world. I almost think she is scared that when I'm healthy maybe she won't be good enough for me? I hope that is not the case, and I have assured her that it isn't. She is the love of my life, all her imperfections is what makes her perfect.
- Nick