Wow, Lenga...I woke up at 3AM, thinking about drinking. I should be sleeping, but just a few months into my COMMITMENT to be free from my addiction, it is a struggle. I decided to log-in to SRC...It has been a while and I came across this post.
I hope it helps you that your situation slapped the $&!+ out of me. I am now VERY grateful for my circumstances and my recovery. I am going back to sleep, AFTER I say a prayer thanking God for my recovery AND I am especially praying for you...and your wife.
Thank you for sharing what you are going through.