Day 2 was a POS
A few things made today a tough day to fight my addiction, and I am hoping that there are some answers out there our some people who can point me in the right direction:
1. I left where I lived to live closer to my fiance and know very few people around here, essentially an empty house with no accountability.
2. The drive home from me fiances is about 25 miles, giving me too much time to battle the craving. It feels overwhelming, I end up speeding and gripping the steering wheel without even realizing it.
3. My fiance, and most others around me, are very determined to not let my problem seem like a big deal, and are scared of the term 'alcoholic' saying things like "no there's no way your an alcoholic" or "its not really that big of a problem."
4. I am a server/bartender, and am around alcohol all day.
The drive home today was super tough, a mental battle that was one of the toughest times ever. I just wanted to scream. I kept going back and forth between getting some beer or not. My heart was racing the whole time. The good news is that I had victory through prayer and loud music. I do not want to go through that every night.
-R-