I'm totally feeling you. (((hugs)))
My husband kept his addiction a secret from me before we were married too. I felt SO betrayed when it all started to unfold. How could I be such an idiot!?
It's not my fault though. I can't control it. I can't cure it. And for sure I didn't cause it because it turns out it's something he's been dealing with since he was a teenager.
During this time that he's been away and doing his treatment, have you been in any support groups yourself like Al Anon?
My suggestion would be to look up an Al Anon group immediately and get yourself to one of the meetings so that you can either go tonight. I see you're in Central time zone (me too) so meetings could start between 6-7:30 based on how they go in my area.
I don't have experience with what it's like after they come back from rehab, but I do know that Al Anon, turning things over to my Higher Power, and using this forum regularly is the only thing that is keeping me from going insane as I navigate my way through my husband's addiction.
Yesterday I laid a boundary down about my not being willing to live with an active addict who is not in recovery. It was a huge day for me.
Today I am nervous. I feel queasy and sick to my stomach. I am scared. I don't feel as confident as I did yesterday. I don't like feeling scared of my husband coming home.
But I have to meet myself where I am at and try to get support from that point moving forward.
So I am going to an Al Anon meeting tonight to talk through more of this.
I will likely start a thread here about it to so that I can talk it out and get some perspective and feedback from the group here. They are so wise and helpful!
We have to strengthen ourselves and put the focus on us instead of our addict partners. It is not easy, but it is worth the effort. I'm glad you came to the board to share and get some help. You're not alone. ((hugs))