Originally Posted by
Hanna 
Hey Daisy,
I am really glad you have other stuff going on, too. Like curtains, and sewing! (I should be an expert given my Mom is just amazing on a sewing machine but I've never taken the time to learn.)
It just seemed like the focus here was completely on him in that particular 6:37PM post. Not even on your relationship with him, not at all on you just completely HIM. I mean, you are here because of him so it makes some sense to focus on what he is doing but...
(and this is all just my own impression.)
...well, you don't seem as angry or upset about the fact that there were drugs in your house as most people would be. I'm not talking about how I think you should feel toward him, that's not the point. But frankly, if I found coke in my house I would be freaking out, no matter who brought it. This is coming from a woman that has cleaned up a house previously inhabited by IV drug users without batting much of an eye. In my house? Very different situation.
However, I am aware that you likely have lots of things going through your head that you are not posting here. I always do! But the whole scenario reminded me of something I read about living in chaos: our brains literally begin to change so that what is completely abnormal and even terrifying begins to seem not so bad and even normal. It's a coping mechanism. I will try to find the article. You aren't in the midst of chaos at this point, but after a day your writing just left me with the impression that what was a very big deal 24 hours before had become something you may have already accepted as par for the course. It just made me think ...hmmm... maybe Daisy is experiencing that. I know I did, which is why even laugh I even today about some of the bizarre and really disturbing things that have happened.
I definitely understand what you are saying about the experiences being shared here. Most of us have been through stuff that hasn't started happening with him yet. Your perspective is not the same as ours. I know what CAN happen but don't know what WILL happen and I think you are a smart woman with a good head on your shoulders.
It's tough to have a thread full of advice being given. You have to go through what you are going through and make your own decisions though. Lots of what you read here will be useful, some may not be for you, but will for the next person that comes along and reads it. We've all got different rows to hoe.
I'm glad you are here on SR. Please don't feel like you have to explain or defend yourself at all. But please do keep reading all of the ES&H that people share here so that if you find things getting worse you will have some great tools to recognize it and mitigate.
Peace,
Hanna
Hanna,
Yes your right, I don't have to defend myself or even comment when I disagree. I guess I get caught up in some of the enthusiasm of the posters.
I see what you are saying about the anger and getting complcacent over time. I would like to read the article if you can find it. You can PM me if you want.
I am still angry over the betrayal of the drugs in my house. I am not as emotional over it now. That is how I am. I have been taught when something like this happens to upset you, then take a step away, calm down, think it over, and respond not to the emotion but to the facts and the big picture.
And that is what I'm doing. I havent talked to him, texted him or anything, and he is giving me room to think all on my own which I appreciate. Reading a lot of posts here, I know lots of times it doesn't work that way. He could be blowing up my phone, pounding on my door, and all that other crap.
OT : I would like to learn to sew better. My mom sews. Mostly I would be interested in home decorating projects as it would be laughable if I tried to make clothes to wear out in public!