I had a frustrating appointment with my therapist today. Felt like she was playing mind games with me- saying that I must not want to stop, if I keep talking about it, but not actually doing it. And that maybe the addiction isn't really causing me problems, etc., so that as long as I don't overdose on tramadol I could just keep going as I am. I did just print out weekly calendar pages until the end of March, and have planned a slow taper, getting myself to zero tramadol on March 31st. I am not really going to worry about Ativan, as I do just take that as prescribed and may need to use it more than usual for anxiety during the taper. I am going to try to add gentle exercise too. I am not excited about doing this at all, but I am confident I will be successful. I am only doing it for my husband and my girls. Hopefully I will get my appetite back. Blah.