Welcome to Sober Recovery, UndertheIvy.
There is so much good information here and an amazing support network.
I know there are many reasons to be fearful about this big step. But there are many more important reasons to take it and you have clearly already figured that out.
Have you ever been to a meeting?
A few things that are helpful to know:
-Many of the people that are in there went through the same fears and apprehensions their first time
-People will not make any judgements or assumptions about you. In fact, they won't know why you are there at all if it is an open meeting. Only that addiction has touched your life in some way.
-No one is forced or even expected to contribute. The most you may need to say is "I just came here to listen today"
-Each home group is a little different. Since you are in a big city, you will have lots of options.
-just plan to go a few times to get in the swing of things.
-It helps me to look at scary things from an academic perspective. As if I are just doing research and trying to gain as much knowledge as possible. Sometimes I approach new things as if I have an assignment for work.
-Planning something for afterward might help this feel less enormous. A coffee at a nearby coffee shop or an errand.
There have been alot of good threads about first meetings so please keep reading here forum, and post, too.
The sticky posts at the top of each forum are really helpful. The 12 Step forum stickies are really helpful for understanding more about the AA and NA program.
You'll get lots of advice here so just like the meetings, take what works for you and leave the rest.
Peace,
Hanna