Weekends are hard
Last weekend I had my brother & sister-in-law around. This is my second sober weekend but my first sober weekend alone.
I feel like I don't know what to do. Normally my partner would just be getting home from work and we'd be spending time together... With the dogs... Our babies... We had four between us... One of which was mine... So now I have him only.
I was doing ok. I think about her and the dogs a lot. And all of a sudden I'm overwhelmed & crying.
I know we're apart because of my actions. I fully understand that. I just don't know how to not think about this... I'm trying so hard to be in the moment... And let the emotion do what it's gonna do... But I feel such a deep sense of loss...
I'm trying very hard to reconcile what happened between us with the love I have for her and it just doesn't make sense to me. I don't know that it ever will.
We were moving in together in a few months and now I'll live there alone. I have no idea how I'm going to do that...
I feel like my life has been paused but the minutes, hours, days keep moving by me.