Originally Posted by Paddler

Hey Goose -
I do the same thing... if I'm understanding you correctly. I decided to quite (half heartedly - cut back) around July of last year. After a nasty binge Christmas Eve... where I don't even remember setting up "Santa" with my wife and feeling like garbage Christmas Day... I decided enough. Tired, so tired of the cycle. But, I don't think I was fully committed. I always wondered when I would be able to have that good micro brew I so loved. I wouldn't just have one or two - ever, though. It would be 6. Then 8. Then a shot. Then a glass of wine... then the hangover... followed by a micro brew in the a.m. to get me steady...

So tired of the cycle.

This past weekend I decided to fully commit. I'll never be able to drink normally. Not now, not 30 years from now. I, like you have seen the awesomeness of 12 - 14 days (14 being the longest stretch) and the hell from day one - 5 or 6 (for me). I know what the first day will be like and how hard it will be to not pick up that first drink. Not because I'm not fully committed but because my body craves the poison because the poison has made it feel so terrible. I know I won't sleep day one and day two will be a tired, anxiety driven, am I dying, sad hell. I won't sleep day two. Day three I'll be short of breath but slightly better - other than exhausted. I'll function a little better on day three but will still have anxiety and disappointment. Day 3 I might sleep. And then it improves until after 7 days I'm usually somewhat back to normal.... running 5 miles/day again, eating clean and healthy...

and this time... that will be my new cycle forever. God help me to remember what I was doing never, ever worked... and help me to never go back to the hell of day one. It sure isn't worth it.