Glad you posted here and I hope you can find a balance in your life that gives you time just for yourself. Sometimes having our own hobby, or joining an interest group, or finding something that we enjoy doing just for ourselves can help us renew our spirit and feel a sense of accomplishment...regardless of how those around us are handling their own lives.
You may find your new Al-anon group helps you regain your sanity and self-esteem and I am so glad you are giving meetings a try. They have helped many of us here to rebuild our lives.
Let us know how this all works out for you.
Hugs