Although it might feel like you have been grieving forever, it is better to feel your emotions and go through the grieving process now. When my dad died I didn't want to deal with it and turned to drugs to cope, well guess what..six years later when I finally got sober I started the grieving process all over again. There is no way to avoid it, and the healthiest thing you can do is to process your emotions and do whatever works for you to get through it.
hugggsssss. I hope you can find some peace today. Remembering the good times always helps me when I start missing someone.