sports question
Before incredible self-doubt took over my being and motivated my excessive alcohol consumption, I used to be a serious athlete. I think part of the reason I've spent so many years drinking and smoking was to destroy that part of myself, because I was raised to believe athletics - not intellectual pursuits - were a waste of time. I gave up sports to please my parents, who wanted me to be an academic only. So this was akin to denying my own wants and preferences in this life (which, really, I have done all my life) - which, in the end, is guaranteed to make a person sick in soul.
I talk to my therapist about this sometimes; he says "who are you?" and Isay "I'm an athlete" - even though I've been destroying my health for the last 17 years. At my core that's who I still believe I am.
I wondered - are there any other athletes out there who want to return to the former sportive life? I don't know how to start. I don't know if it's too late. Anybody else got an experience of this?
I miss being on the playing field, but I'm afraid to head back out.