Mr Christian
I know you are aching to understand what has happened and why she has done the things she has done. Can you accept that she is not a well person? That she is not a rational person? That her disease is making her be a selfish person?
Can you also accept that perhaps one of the reasons why this is hurting so much is because you have lost your role in life? You are not her caretaker anymore. You obviously need to be needed - believe me, I've been there. Have you sought any answers to this? I have been to counselling and it has made me understand that I behaved in a certain way because of the situation I was in as a child. But that situation doesn't exist anymore, however I was behaving as if it did.
The way your wife is behaving is not a reflection on you, it is a reflection of HER. It is OK to move on, you know. No-one is going to criticise you for letting her go.
Take care
Love
Minnie
xxxx