Hope...
Hello All,
After two months of being no contact, and nine months of finally being out of the relationship, I am getting back to normal. My day is full of work, hobbies, friends and when a thought of my axbf comes to my mind, I am aware of it and let it pass. Mind you, I still get at least one thought an hour...but it used to be every minute. I still have days of anixety, and worry. Especially when people say they have seen him, or I fear running into each other (we live and work next door to each other). I have little ambition to look him up on Facebook, or find out how his new gf is doing. I have finally learned how to focus on myself, which was such a foreign concept for many years.
But, there is still a light that signals hope, that he will stop drinking and choose recovery. I have known him for 7+ years, and deep in my heart, I know that it is very unlikely that he will. But, I still have hope. My question is, how do you move on, focus on your recovery, learn to be in a healthy relationship, start dating, and stop hoping they will change and come back. In my heart, I know we were not meant to be together, but I still have hope. Regardless of the drinking, why would I have hope someone would return when I know it was never meant to be?
Maybe there are other parts of my brain that are broken, that I should take a look at.