I am just starting my first step. Its the only thing that is giving me any strength right now, and i dont even know what its about. One thing i do know. I am very sick. I am as sick with this disease as the addicts are. I want to get bwtter. After 35 years of the pain and fear, emarrassment, destruction ... I see the sick awful person ive turnes into. No more! I am going to get better. They can do what they need to do, but i am going to get better, with or without them.