First and foremost, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your input. I appreciate it greatly in this time of need.
I would also like to add that I am proudly kicking the bottle. It's going to be a huge struggle filled with a whirl wind of emotions, but I am definitely going to give it my all for the first time ever. I am so grateful for this wonderful site filled with so much support and encouragement. This should help me massively on my journey to sobriety.
This morning I went to the doctor for blood work and 'the morning after' pill so now I wait for results.. Which is quite bone shattering.
As for my boyfriend, I told him what had happened. He is not understanding at all, and won't give me the opportunity to explain or prove myself. I am deeply ashamed of myself, and I feel dirty, shocked and disgusted. I cannot believe that I have caused this amount of pain to myself and to my boyfriend. I want to change for not only him, but for myself. That is why I am choosing to quit drinking, regardless of where my relationship will go. I would never wish this pain on my worst enemy. I would never intentionally hurt him like this, never mind break his heart. I need him back in my life, but chances are slim to none at this point in time. Any advice to get him back would be much appreciated.
Regardless of the outcome, I am proudly starting my journey to sobriety and healing.
Heartbroken and ashamed,
CH