I can only share based on my experiences, but for me communication is key to rebuilding my relationship with RAH. That stemmed from how we had been struggling with communication while he was actively drinking... in his efforts to hide/deflect/internalize he had slowly shut me out bit by bit & by the time he sought recovery I felt like I didn't know him as a person any longer. I knew there were remnants of that same person inside of him (or maybe hoped is a better word) but I no longer understood him or who he had become. In recovery he was yet again changing & working on becoming a better person so even the stuff that I thought I knew about him as an A was no longer true.
But that doesn't mean that I need to know every single detail through every stage of his recovery.... especially since he himself is still figuring all of that out & doesn't really have answers.
It's more that I need to know the broad strokes..... he's struggling with xyz or feeling better about abc or today his mood is off because it's "just a bad day" for whatever reason. (I don't mean just relative to his sobriety, I mean things like job stress, issues with his mom, whatever.... he had gotten into the habit of not sharing anything.) I don't always need the reasons, but as a codie it's important for me that my partner tells me how he's feeling vs me making assumptions & guessing. I had to learn to back off from needing every little detail because it really had just become another form of control for me.
Ironically, it seems like the more I back off & need fewer details & the less he feels pressure to continually provide them, the more he honestly feels like sharing as time goes on. In his earliest recovery it was kind of better for us not to talk too much at all - he had a lot going on that he couldn't really grasp himself & I really needed some time to work on my own issues. We often clashed & seemed to be coming from 2 different perspectives & speaking different languages in those very early days.
I stay out of his recovery as much as I can except for the places where it intersects with me/my life. It's really about his actions & not his words. Over time as he sticks to the things he says, our relationship is recovering as well. It takes a long time to rebuild trust & my RAH has had the hardest time realizing that just getting sober isn't enough to wipe away all the bad things that have happened or been said. That the sober him still had to atone for the actions of the drunk him even if no longer was that person or made those same mistakes. I think it has been surprising to him how far reaching the consequences of his actions have been - I think he mistakingly thought he was only hurting himself all that time.
Good luck on your sobriety!!