Please help me!
First off, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for five years now. We've had our ups n downs but we love eachother very much. We spend everyday together and sleep beside eachother every night. He is my sun, my stars my everything.
Last night, I accompanied my girlfriend to one of her co-workers house-warming party. There was about two other girls there and three men. After multiple drinks, we decided to take a few shots. I unconsciously drank quickly as I was so nervous not knowing anyone else there. The end of the night became quite the blur. My friend woke me up in the morning so we could cab home. She told me just how drunk I got. I was spilling drinks, falling everywhere and a huge mess. Apparently I had made out with one of the men and she said that she seen us giving oral sex to eachother in one of the bedrooms. I DO NOT recall any of that ! Not even a second of it. I know my friend wouldn't just make that up. As I showered today, I noticed a lot of bruises and small scrapes on my chest, back and arms. I feel horrible and sick to my stomach. The pang of guilt has hung over me all day. I feel angry with myself, angry with my friend for not putting a stop to it, and angry with that man for taking advantage of me in such a vulnerable state. I would never ever knowingly cheat on my boyfriend like that and he has been 100% faithful to me since day one. My state of blackout has me quite boggled. I don't recall a thing past 1100 last night, and according to my friend we were up until 3 in the mroning. Is it possible to have all this happen without me sobering up and realizing what's happening?
My boyfriend is very loyal and really against cheating in any form. His parents had affairs and it has caused a lot of damage to the family and how he views cheating. I do not know how I can confront him about this.. Should I tell him what happened? I don't even know any details of the event or what exactly happened. IF IT EVEN HAPPENED AT ALL!! I know my boyfriend would NEVER forgive me, trust me again or be with me. I don't want to lose the best thing in my life, and I honestly would never even THINK about cheating on him. I cannot believe my stupid decisions led to such a horrific mistake!
Please, any advice would be wonderful. Thank you
