Originally Posted by
LDT 
What is the "point"? LIFE is the point, MLC. And I think you want that, or else you would not be reaching out to us.
I said in an earlier post that your children NEED you. My hope is that you take to heart even just one small thing any of your friends here have said. We care and want you to live a beautiful life.....But that cannot happen with drugs and alcohol.
Even if it's not the doctor you want right now, I hope you will keep your appointment. THAT is a start.
I want a beautiful life too
I just said that to my hubby this morning before he went to work. I'm TERRIFIED that without substances I'll go straight back to bulimia and THAT will kill me faster than the drugs. I will keep the appointment. That counselor frustrated me no end though
Originally Posted by
Anna Not drinking is a start, but only a start.
The benzos are messing with you badly right now. You don't need your husband to hide them from you. Call a Crisis line and get a tapering plan going and stick with it. It's your responsibility to do this for yourself and your five children. Go to an ER if you need to in order to get started on getting off the drugs. Prayers for you.
I'm going to call the salvo detox today and see what they say Anna. I've told two people irl that I will so they can keep me accountable also. I'm so, so, so scared of losing the comfort of the benzos and the alchol just means I can get away with using less and hacing to lie to docs less. Familiar story. I'm terrified. It hasn't been long I've been abusing substances again but it's replaced my awful ED that was killing me after 16 years. I can't go back there.
Originally Posted by
peanut44 MLC
When i would run out of pain pills or decide not to use them, i would take benzos thru the day.
You said lots of benzos and lots of tears...
I'm not sure how many or what exactly your taking but do be careful.
Stop the insanity!!! You don't have to go on and on like this.
I used benzos ALOT, sometimes a whole prescription in a couple days.
Now that I'm looking back with a clear head, i AM lucky to be alive!!
You need to get a doctors help with this at the very least!!
I'm using too many and scared of not being able to get more....last year they were combined with all kinds of opiates and alcohol and I haven't gone down the opiate track this time. Last year WAS insanity, I am lucky also to be alive. So was when I was early 20's and injecting all kinds f crap into my body
Alot of people in my life still think I'm normal. I think.....