Originally Posted by
Quinne 
What's driving you to want to see someone else?
The point is, you're better than this and deserve to be sober and happy. We've all been where you are, know and *understand* just how difficult it is, but you can do this!
Other members have stated what has worked for them; some have suggested that they got (and stayed) sober for their kids and partners, and gained enough self-worth to want this for themselves. Why not try that?
You have a duty and a responsibility as a Mother and Wife to not only look out for your family, but YOU too! Believe it or not, you have the choice to pick up the phone and reach out, get to an AA meeting (would you drive 2 hours to get alcohol if you felt that was your only option?), call Directline, but the crux of the matter is you need to start somewhere.....
Knowing your own history, you have every right to tear up a script or seek a second opinion; I know that in active alcoholism, I'd pick and choose those who I knew would tell me what I wanted to hear, or give me what I wanted to take. Being a medical professional doesn't make anyone Godlike; even Doctors can be prone to oversights and lack knowledge in some areas.
Every alcoholic or addict I've met has said that the ticket to recovery is in action (no matter what their recovery method), not in thinking about it. I hope you find the courage within yourself to do this and grab it with both hands while you still can
Xx
Actually at this point I would not drive 2 hours to get alcohol. Back in the day I would have driven that far to get heroin or meth. I'm not doing a 5 hour round trip at night time to go to a meeting, I've decided that. Dee gave me some links to online ones and I'm going to get serious today about following them up. I have also told my hubby I'm ringing a detx today. I will choose a program of recovery.
I was honest with both the doc and the counselor. The prob out here is that we have all the new docs doing their country serivce and nobody sticks around for long. I'm freaking as I'm nearly out of another prescription. Thanks for the reply.
Originally Posted by
hollowx Take more serious measures in locking down the things that are causing you pain. Feeling like nothing else matters except the present. But the present is a gift for the future and it does not stay still. Make a present for yourself, for your family, just keep trying, keep moving. Eventually you have to face reality and that is benzos are not that great for long term. I actually find them quite addicting. They compliment drinking so well. Russian roulette is a lot safer.
I find them totally addicitive. They are like a beautiful blanket that makes all the emtional and physical pain melt away. Take a handful and you can just pass out and forget everything. I was totally addicted a few months ago as well as taking a box of painkillers everyday or two, plus alcohol, oxy if I could get it and morphine. Even the kids phenerghan when all else failed. Insanity. All justified by 'at least I'm not shooting up meth/heroin/pills' anymore....at least it's legal, blah blah. The withdrawal frm benzos last year was terrifying and I'm so scared. It hasn't been long this time but I'm only small and it doesn't take long for me to build a tolerance.
Originally Posted by
2granddaughters Are you going to the meetings? Got a Home Group and a sponsor?
It sounds like you haven't surrendered to the NA program. I couldn't stay sober until I surrendered to AA.
All the best.
Thanks, no, we have no meetings here but as I sa d above, I am seriously looking today for online meetings. My pastor has been great as an ex addict himself.
Bob R