MLC
When i would run out of pain pills or decide not to use them, i would take benzos thru the day.
You said lots of benzos and lots of tears...
I'm not sure how many or what exactly your taking but do be careful.
Stop the insanity!!! You don't have to go on and on like this.
I used benzos ALOT, sometimes a whole prescription in a couple days.
Now that I'm looking back with a clear head, i AM lucky to be alive!!
You need to get a doctors help with this at the very least!!