Good morning bamboo10,
Glad to hear you are doing well. I'm in the same stage as you, just trying to figure out what I want, don't want, and not looking for a serious relationship. At times, I miss being in a relationship, but I remind myself that it's better to wait for a good relationship then to get in a bad one. I also feel somewhat traumatized from my experiences with my XABF. There is an emotional wall up again. I feel more rational. I feel like I see things with more clarity. I can read people better, e.g., I can tell if someone is serious or just flirting and wasting my time and it's time to end it. I'm more careful with who I let into my life and who I let my guard down for whereas before I would see red flags and keep pursuing something hoping that things would magically change.
It's empowering to know I have so much control over my own life and kind of silly to say in a way. Almost like I never knew I could be this happy, this strong, and this alive.