Originally Posted by
jkb 
I am sick of having to think soo much about not doing it.
Well, then you are doing exactly the right thing, because the only way to leave behind the obsession is to push on through it. If you drank, would it end the Great Debate in your head? Of course not. Once we've made a big plan, drinking no longer represents relief, only regression. We'd still know we needed to stop, we'd still want to stop, so we'd still end up thinking about it all the time—to drink or not, over and over, day after day.
Yes, it's normal to still find yourself thinking about it all the time—but as long as you don't drink, it will begin to fade. I haven't had a drink in over two years, and the thought of drinking rarely enters my mind now. When it does occur, it's a curiosity more than an annoyance. Like, "There's that silly old AV again." And the thought is dismissed, just like that. Last week I spent a couple hours at a bar with a friend. The only time I recall thinking about booze was toward the end of the night, when I found myself wishing my buddy hadn't drank, because he was starting to ramble. The conversation became sort of tedious and predictable. Glad I never did that.
So yeah, today you might still be annoyed by AV—but today you are also one day closer to AV's final fade out. Congratulations—you're defeating addiction, and that's a pretty awesome thing to see. Thanks for sharing your journey, jkb.
