Actually, as bad as you feel right now, that was a very good and productive conversation, it sounds like. You both shared your bottom line, how you feel, and what would be a deal-breaker. Much better than his lying to you and your continuing to be frustrated and hurt by it.
He as much as told you he is not willing to change. Period. Now, you may not LIKE who he is, but he has told you who he is. Believe it.
Love isn't enough to change alcoholism, and it isn't enough to change this guy's obsessions, either. That is no reflection on you. It is simply a fact of who and what they are.
He expresses no interest in changing. So the best thing for you to do at this point is to accept the situation (and acceptance doesn't mean it's "okay," it is simply recognizing the truth of it and not putting some other spin on it), and work on getting on with the rest of your life.