I'm sorry for what you are going through, but you are doing what is best for you!
I'm both an RA (recovering addict) and a codependent (Have several loved ones who are still using).
People want to blame someone....usually it's not themselves.
You haven't done anything wrong. When I was still an active A (addict/alcoholic), my family stepped back. They allowed me the dignity of living my life as I wanted to, as well as the consequences.
I'm forever grateful to them, but one of "them" is my dad. My stepmom is an A...addicted to anything that makes her feel "numb".
I share what I know from both sides of the fence...an addict and someone who loves an addict (or more).
I can't make him change his enabling ways, but I can show him how I deal with it.
When all hello breaks lose, I share what I've learned from SR and al-anon. It's up to HIM to deal with it. Me? I just keep showing what recovery is really like.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy