I have done some terrible things in past relationships when I was your age and I wished I'd sought help then.
I'm embracing sober life at 36 now and I'm so grateful.
Some people can drink and others, like us, don't have that off switch. There's plenty of support right here and you can look at AVRT recovery too. (Google it)
It takes a while to break the habit if you are a binge drinker as it also an addiction even if you don't drink every day. I counted my recovery on days as well as 'sober weekends' as my pattern was sporadic binges and extended daily sessions.
Your bottom is personal to you, but if you've crossed a line where you behaved at odds with your morals then you've done the right thing in quitting.
Keep posting and read around.
I wish you all the best.
S x