Originally Posted by Justshy

Those of you familiar with my story know that my RAH has been sober about 55 days, moved out into an apartment after 3 days into rehab (with the help/guidance...enabling???....of his parents) and is not really talking to me except about the kids. When he initially moved he said it was "for his recovery". I cried, screamed, nagged, tried to manipulate, etc. like any good Codie would do, yet he still moved out. Now, it seems like everything I do or say is wrong. Everytime we talk on the phone he either makes me cry or makes me mad. He is working, going to meetings every night and working with his sponsor on the steps. Although in the beginning he said stuff like "we will work on our marriage after I am well", he now says stuff like "I don't know if I want to be married" and "IF I ever move back", etc.
Do recovering A's become selfish/self centered? I mean, I know it is what it is, but I don't know how to deal with it. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells every time I talk to him trying not to say anything that will make him mad (which is exactly what I did when he was actively drinking). An example...he usually sees the kids on Fridays for about 2 hours before his meeting. Then he picks them up Saturday morning and Brings them back Sunday morning. Last night he called and said he was tired and was going to rest and also had to leave for his meeting early because he was picking up a guy who couldn't drive. He also said instead of picking the kids up today at 10, he would pick them up at 4 because he wanted to "rest and relax". I'm quite certain he is not drinking at all and while this request sounds reasonable, I went all Codie and was like: why don't you want to spend time with the kids. You have free time all week as you don't have to feed/dress/care for kids, help with homework, put them to bed, wake them up, and deal with everyday life. His response was to scream at me and hang up on me. Ok SR family, please tell me I'm being selfish and that he is allowed to be this way. I guess the problem is...for so long, he treated me like a queen and did everything for me and now that I'm having to learn to live without him I am resentful. I guess I'm kind of answering my own thoughts here as I type this, but I always appreciate the brutal honesty you guys provide!