Yes, this higher power has been present in this process before, and if you all will indulge me, I am going to quickly tell you about it.
My AH has actually attempted suicide once before. It sucks to even write that....but it is true. My daughter was only 3 or 4 at the time, and my son was 6 or 7. I woke to see my husband not in the bed. I went into the living room to find him un-responsive on the couch. I was freaking out, but got the kids in the room without too much notice, and quickly called 911. It was during a blazing snow storm and the fire department/abulance had to park at the bottom of our street and run up to the house. all of the craziness of trying to get my AH stable insued, and of course, they discovered he had taken an entire bottle of Ambien that he had gotten from a doctor because of his inability to sleep. So, they took him to the hospital, and after getting my family to help get the kids to school, before too long, there I was, alone in the house...familiar scene, crying my eyes out on the bed. After hours, I looked to my side, and there, I see this little blue book. I dont know where it came from, but there it was....open to a page. You all may have some experience with this book, it was one from Al-Anon. It was open to a page about how this desease rips families apart and the damage it does. I burst into tears. I know my AH hadnt put it there, I had never seen it. Did I get the hint and go to Al-Anon? nope. It turns out that his father who had just passed away, and had lived in the same house before we bought it, was in AA as well. He somehow had that book, but even my husband doesnt remember it in the house. I, to this day, think that was his nudging to me. I just wasnt ready at the time to accept that gift. But I am now. I hope this message wasnt too long and dragging on, but I also thought it may remind some of us to get help.